My Secrets Are Stronger Than My Honor

my secrets
are stronger
than my honor
apparently.
my honor floats above me at night	
	a beacon, a guide
and in the morning, early
alone
but as the noise of cars throws grey lies into the air of the hills
and the phones ring and ping and throw a web of energies into my mind
i give up
i can’t compete
i may as well play
like the world plays

but oh, the night comes again
give me another chance
i’ll show up right
tomorrow